


Dirty Deeds

by Grotesque (Grotesque_Flower)



Series: Sin Children AU [11]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, dFUCKk, i cant never write Bill right and this is the entire cause of domesticated, im talking about me writing bill so ooc and. well. domesticate, not this fic specifically, other sins are here too but im not tagging them all, sin children AU, this is so sickly out of character i hate it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6891646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grotesque_Flower/pseuds/Grotesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a trip with Wendy and the others, Dipper comes home with a surprise attached to his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirty Deeds

Dipper pulled into the drive-way of his so-called house. Bill said it was theirs, no need to pester further about it. But knowing Bill he probably scared the living shit out of some poor realtor that wanted to make a deal with him, and instead of being greedy Bill decided he wanted something other than the normal payment for his work. After he cut the ignition Dipper sat in the car for a good five minutes with a heavy sigh before he kicked open the door and climbed out to grab his stuff from the back. Running his fingers through his hair he walked over to the side of the garage and punched in the code before he walked into the garage. He stopped and narrowed his eyes, looking around before slowly making his way to the door. He could hear the pounding feet against the floor already, and when he reached out to turn the knob someone on the other end beat him to it.

“I was right!” Lust shouted loudly looking over her shoulder with a wide smile, “Dip-dad is back~! He’s ho-“

When she whipped her head to look at him she stopped her words, her eyes widening and smile twitching before she simply stepped aside. Dipper walked passed her, ruffling her ringlet styled hair as he did so. He walked into the kitchen and continued to survey the surroundings as he set his backpack on the table. He tensed when he heard heels click on the ceramic tile but relaxed when he heard the familiar voice of Envy from behind him.

“Welcome home,” they spoke easily, walking over to him and standing a good half foot taller than usual. Dipper looked down to see the heeled shoes the sin wore, where they got him Dipper didn’t question at the moment. Envy however looked him up and down before their green eyes settled, “Dad’s not gonna like that. But, surprisingly everything went well. No need to seem so weary of everything. Kept dad away from cooking, aside from a few times, kept everything clean, stayed as humanly possible. And his form only twitched once the entire time. Granted, we were all acting like heathens…”

“Where is he?” Dipper asked, finally completely relaxing and leaning against the table.

They shrugged, “Who knows.”

“Everyone else?”

“Lust, Greed, and I are home. Helping clean up their room, like you asked before you left but put off until last minute.”

“As expected.”

“Ira took Sloth down to the gas station, which don’t flip out, but Sloth does have a black eye,” Dipper whipped his head to stare at the demon with wide eyes, “An accident Ira told dad… Accidentally on purpose. Gula tagged along to get out of cleaning. And as for Pride,” their voice wavered as they heard the front door open, “Speak of the devil herself…”

Pride took long strides into the house and across the living room until her feet hit the tile, looking up her gaze landed on Dipper and she widened her eyes with a look of shock a disgust. Before Dipper could even wave she turned heel and walked over to the stairs to make her way upstairs. Dipper gave a quizzical look but shrugged it off. The girl was weird.

* * *

 

Dipper was in the kitchen, everything put away and in order, focused on the stovetop. He heard the creaking of the stairs followed by a greeting from Lust to Bill followed by Sloth finally addressing the elephant in the room that Dipper had dragged in with him.

“DAD’S FACE IS FUZZY,” the sin sounded painfully distressed, not knowing how to bring it up but dammit it needed to be! Bill would know how to deal with this.

“Oh thank God someone said it,” Lust sighed heavily relieved and sunk back into the armchair, lazily laying with one leg hooked over the armrest.

Bill’s expression was that of worry and dread. Oh for the love of God please tell him it wasn’t what he thought it was. He quickly stepped into the kitchen and peered over at the human, who had a small and smug smile on his face as he continued to make whatever it was he was making, use your imagination for this one. Bill’s eyes only widen and he smiled, his lip pulling up slightly. There was a distant, almost deader than usual look in those golden eyes.

“No welcome back? Rude, Bill,” Dipper turned off the burner and set the saucer to the side, looking over at the demon he was addressing.

“We-welcome back!” Bill blinked and his smile stuck, eyes flickering from the much bantered and debated over goatee his so-called loyal lover had, “I see you brought a friend.”

“Yeah, his name is Tyrone-“

“No it’s not!” Ira protested at the name.

“Well it’s time to say goodbye to whatever it is, right now,” the man clasped his hands together and gestured for Dipper to come with him, “Gula can continue with dinner, right darling?”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Dipper laughed and raised his hands up to stop the other before he got ahead of himself, “I have been rocking this goatee for the past month, there is no way I’m getting rid of it. Do you know how many people actually treat me as my age, not simply like I’m still a teenager?”

“Well that sounds wonderful, but your trip is over, time to just rip all the clinging memories of it right off your face and come back to your life, right here. With me. And you know that I have told you countless times that the day you grow a goatee and keep it, is the day that hell freezes over.”

“Well, tell the Devil to buy some ice skates and a coat, because it’s staying,” Dipper spoke matter of fact before turning back to the stove and resuming what he was doing. Bill scowled and narrowed his eyes at the human before turning on his heels and back into the living room with the other demons.

Dipper had to be the only one who actually liked the horrible addition to his facial features. Sloth being the affectionate little demon he usually was who loved cuddling and hugs would make whines of distress before opting to sit on the other end of the couch rather than by him and Bill. And the dream demon kept to his word of no kisses, stating that it they shouldn’t itch or tickle. Lust refused to acknowledge it but was obviously bothered by it, not used to seeing Dipper without a clean shaven face.

* * *

 

In the morning while he was getting ready, shirtless and the door wide opened, he stood watching his reflecting as he trimmed along his jawline carefully. He looked to the corner of the mirror and caught sight of the youngest sin. Pride leaned against the hallway outside and watched him, her eyes glowing in the dark subtly as she whispered to herself. He couldn’t hear what she was saying but could make out the mouth movements. But sadly lip reading wasn’t a task he had learned to do. Simply swallowing awkwardly and deciding to let the girl have the shower while he finished getting ready in his room.

“Shave it, shave it, shave it, shave it,” Pride whispered to herself, watching the mortal take the razor to his face. Hoping that somehow she could just get in his head or something, anything to make him get rid of that horrible goatee of his.

* * *

 

Bill hated it, he hated it so much. But Dipper wouldn’t listen to his protests at all of course. Simply snickering and making a comment over how he had to deal with his weird fashion sense. Every time Bill leaned down for a kiss he would either be abruptly reminded of the goatee when he felt lips on his followed by the uncomfortable scratch of it. Or he’d widen his eyes and opt for kissing his human on the forehead instead. And then of course you had the times where Dipper would purposely bother him with it. Surprise kisses or hugs and displays of affection over exaggerated with rubbing their cheeks together or just nuzzles. And while Bill loved the attention, he hated that damnable excuse of a beard the mortal had growing from his chin.

He was walking down the stairs when he looked over and saw Dipper laying on the couch snoozing away, his phone was on his chest rising and falling with every breath he took. He paused and stared at him, eyes widened in thought as he pursed his lips. Turning heel he went upstairs again and turned down the short hallway and stepped into the shared bedroom of Lust and Pride. Finding the younger sin just as he was hoping.

Pride sat on the bed with her legs tucked under herself, pinning the fabric of a soon to be blanket together with needles and didn’t even stop her work when she saw her father step into her room from the corner of her eye. She didn’t need to acknowledge him for Bill to know he was sense.

Bill smiled mischievously happy at her, “Hey, darling, I see that you’re at home and not off playing or whatever it is you do when there’s nothing to do. That’s boring, and no fun.”

“Perhaps, but that’s your opinion. I’m focused on my work, and I’m enjoying it.”

“Yes,” Bill hummed and looked over his shoulder out to the hallway before stepping more into the room, “Speaking of work. I have to go make a deal, but I do have a job for you.”

Pride’s movements didn’t stop, “Job?”

“Yup. Dipper is downstairs sleeping, and I want you to do what needs to be done,” he explained to her, “Everyone hates that damnable goatee Dipper has come home with, and he wont listen to me. I want you to simply shave it off for him. It’s simple, easy, and you’ll be doing everyone a huge favor. I’ll even pay you.”

Her eyes flashes as she ceased her work, “How much?”

“Twenty human dollars, just for you, nobody else!”

She sighed and tilted her head a bit, “Twenty dollars? I don’t know, it’s starting to grow on me-“

“Fifty.”

“-like a tumor that needs to be removed before it gets any worse,” she pulled the pin cushion that was fastened to her wrist off and set it on the bedside table, “But first, I need to see the money.”

“I’m good for it,” Bill folded his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow down at him.

“I’m not saying you’re not, I just wanna make sure you’re true to your word. Dad, you’re a demon, you make deals for a living. You understand, don’t you?”

“Are you implying I’m going to skip out on my end?” he laughed in offence and watched as the sin rolled her eyes.

“You pay me half right now, then the rest later,” she held out her hand, “Deal?”

He scowled and turned to cross the hall into his and Dipper’s room with the younger following him. She watched as he dug through Dipper’s wallet until he found what he was looking for. Turning around he tossed the wallet onto the bed and held the money out of Pride’s reach, “I only have twenty on me.”

“Five dollars short-“

“I know my basic math!”

Pride hissed nonchalantly and leaned her weight onto her left leg, looking over at the door, “You’re gonna wake up Dipper, then I’ll have to wait until he falls asleep again. Just means we’ll be stuck with it for even longer then.”

Bill held his tongue and straightened his mouth into a straight line. Sighing he dropped his shoulders and held out the money for the sin, “Alright, fine, I have to get going anyway, but-“ he pulled his hand away just as she went to take the cash from him, “Remember our wager.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she reached and snatched the money away from him, eyeing it before slipping it into her back pocket.

* * *

 

Pride rummaged through the drawers in the bathroom looking for a razor of some sort. Climbing onto the counter and looking through the mirror cabinet before finding what she was looking for. Carefully she slipped down and grabbed the cup next to the sing they would use to fill and rinse their mouths out. Filling it with water she quietly crept down the stairs into the living room, watching Dipper as he dozed blissfully unaware on the couch. As she got closer she set the cup and razor onto the coffee table and moved over to Dipper till she was looming over him, her long blonde hair was pulled back and bangs clipped in place. Wearily she tilted his head back enough for her to work with.

She grabbed the cup and dipped the razor into the water before he started on the part of his face that was farthest from her and to the back of the couch. Dipper hummed at the contact but didn’t wake. Pride watched him carefully as she continued to drag the razor downward along his jaw where his soon to be gone goatee started. She was adamant about making sure she got every patch as she went, going back over a few times before moving on to the next. She… Took pride in her work. She carefully tilted Dipper’s head some more, one hand holding the cup while the other held the razor led to her pushing at his jaw with her pinkies and ring finger. The loose grasp on the handle of the razor mixed with the water that ran down it cause her to lose her hold and drop it.

Dipper hummed and scrunched up his face when the razor was dropped on him, hitting against his temples just enough to get his attention. Pride tensed and widened her eyes when she was met with Dipper blinking blurrily and tired.

“Pride..?” his voice came out tired and confused when he saw her standing over him.

The sin panicked and instead of saying anything, her hand moved on its own. Tilting the cup over Dipper’s face and dousing him in water before she dropped the cup on him and quickly scurried away out of the living room. Dipper bolted up on the couch, cough as the water went up his nose. Rubbing at his eyes he heard the backdoor from the kitchen open and quickly slam shut. He blinked and flicked the cup off of him. Running a hand through his hair and the other across his face he stopped at his mouth, eyes widening slightly as he brought both hands down to feel. Quickly he stood up and stepped over to the mirror to investigate. A small whine escaped from his throat.

* * *

 

Pride hadn’t come home yet. And Dipper sat on the other side of the couch from where he was laying, avoiding the towel that was laid across to help with the water. His arm was perched on the armrest and he cradled his jaw with his hand. His palm covering his mouth as he watched TV. Waiting.

When Bill came home he was humming a tune to himself happily. Stepping into the living room he took notice of the way Dipper was covering his mouth, convincible concern and ignorance in his tone, “Pine Tree, what’s wrong?” his human’s eyes met his and Bill’s words moved quicker than Dipper’s hand, while he pulled away barely his words were already halfway out before he fully saw what he was hiding, “Oh noooooo.”

“Save it,” Dipper huffed and sat back, now folding his arms over his chest. He pouted, “I know this was your doing.”

“What makes you think that?” Bill tried to act offended but he couldn’t help the smug smile on his face while he walked over to lean against the armrest.

“Because while everyone hated my goatee, only you would have the balls to actually shave it.”

“But it wasn’t me, it was Pride.”

“I didn’t say who shaved it!” Dipper pointed out with a look that just read that he caught Bill red handed.

“Or so I sense…” He leaned over and shrugged, examining the man’s face, “Who cares who shaved it, it’s gone now.”

“Just so you know, she did a pretty shit job. Woke up with little less than half of it gone.”

“Wouldn’t have if you just stayed asleep, or you know didn’t grow it in the first place.”

Dipper watched as he sat on the armrest fully, crossing his legs and shrugging, “Well whatever. I can just grow another one anyway.”

Bill whipped his head around to look down at him, almost glaring, “Don’t you dare.”

“Relax,” he sighed and leaned onto the armrest, “Bill, did you really hate it that much though? I know I was being snarky, but if you really wanted me to I would’ve shaved it.”

“I don’t, particularly enjoy telling you what to do sometimes, truthfully,” Bill hummed as he looked for the correct way to word how he felt towards the situation.

“I thought you were a control freak.”

“To an extent,” Bill sighed and looked down at him, blinking a few times straight faced before he smiled, “You look far better like this than you do with that thing taking home on your chin.”

“You think so?”

He nodded and slipped off the armrest and awkwardly into Dipper’s lap, “Yeah, and I can kiss you now without being scratched.”

Dipper giggled when he felt arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him closer. Bill’s lips pressed against his and a warm kiss that had both of them smiling when they pulled back only to connect once, twice, more. He wrapped his arms around Bill’s waist and laced his fingers together. Leaning back and looking at him.

“You know, I think you’d look good with a goate-“

“Not a chance.”

Dipper couldn’t help but laugh at the quickly spoken answer. Pulling Bill closer and tilting his head back when the demon leaned down to kiss his chin and jawline. In the midst of Dipper’s giggles and smiles at the affection he had been missing, Bill spoke up, “By the way, you owe Pride thirty bucks.”

**Author's Note:**

> what th eufnck is this
> 
> I haven't been writing a lot lately, i odnt think anyone really knows why too much but ive been, feeling as discouraged as ever again. For the most part, or for the least part? I'm not entirely too sure at this point. I mean, writing for me i don't have any energy, because its for me and i just well whatever. But if it's aagh, i don't know. Why am i talking anymore this is some dumb tumblr gibberish post at 3am not to be whined about here.


End file.
